my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Randomize
