yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
