I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
