Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
