she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
