Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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