yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
