well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
