Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
