You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's official drugs can't kill me
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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