Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
