i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
