Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
