so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
