I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
