Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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