You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
