Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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