How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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