Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
