Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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