i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
honey bunches of taint.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
