Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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