I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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