There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
