Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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