i think i have herpe
just one?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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