my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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