I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
