I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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