Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
