Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
