I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
