hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
