this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
