Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
