you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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