I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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