Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
