idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize