watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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