Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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