haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
two words: eviction party
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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