Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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