I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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