just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
