My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize