Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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