Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
