I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
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