so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
