i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
