Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
