I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
