Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
