U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i barfeds in our rink
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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