I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
sex in a hospital.. check
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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