I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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